Look closer: the lice is viewed
Regard de près: le poux est visible
Look closer: the vice is lewed
Regard de près: le vice est lubrique
Very good inspiration, but “punt” and “cunt” do not have the same sounds.
I love my pet wussy. RT if you read that wrong.
Sorry but this one does not quite qualify, as this is simply a spoonerism with a made-up pet name.
It would work if this was an existing, famous or ordinarily or frequently used, pet name; or if it was topical (such a pet is in the news or something that brings it to the collective consciousnesses.
Mick Wallace’s balls are off the hook
Mike Wallace ne craint plus de condamnation pour triche fiscale
Mick Wallace’s holes are off the book
Les pertes de Mike Wallace n’apparaissent pas dans ses comptes
In the bathroom, the floor glows
Dans la salle de bain, le sol est fluorescent
In the bathroom, the gore flows
Dans la salle de bain, le gore coule a flot
Jelly Bean > Billie Jean
Sorry but this one does not qualify, as the pronunciation of the vowels do no mqtch.
> bɪli dʒin
Can an,yone salvage this one?
Maybe plqying with Jocks/Box
Bagots cannot fend for themselves without Bilbo.
> Faggots cannot bend for themselves without dildo.
Sorry but this one fails on all accounts, and if it is salvaged it will probably no longer relate to Lords of the Rings, which is a pity as it was such a congruent attempt!
First, Bilbo’s family name in English is Baggins.
Second, “Bilbo” to “dildo” is just unvoicing the “b”.
Suggestion to salvage it: work around a double-contrepeterie involving Bags > Fags and Fend > Bend, maybe something about fashion?
Sorry but this one does not qualify, as the pronunciation of “good” and “prude” are not the same. Close, but different.
Can anyone salvage this one?
Pray! Be good.
Prie! Soit bon.
Gay, be prude!
Pédé, sois prude!
McCain aims at the south with all his might.
It has all the ingredient for a good contrepet, but the result “all his sight” does not work as a meaningful sentence.
And the “sight” has no impact: it is not rude or politically meaningful. (Think about updating it for the next presidential race to Romney)
Again it may work as a spoonerism but not as a contrepeterie.
Do you spank the wool, or wank the spool?
Another case of a spoonerism that does not qualify as a contrepèterie.
First of all, the pronunciation does not quite work:
spæŋk > wɑŋk (this one could be overcome by regional pronunciations)
wʊl > spul
Second, none of the phrases stand on their own as being either innocent, or funny once converted.
Third, it is wasting 2 phrases for the sake of saying “wank”.
Lastly, it just does not make sense: what can “wank the spool” possibly mean? If anything “spanking the wool” could be seen as the naughty part of the sentence.
It is famous, it is funny, it is a successful spoonerism, but a failed contrepèterie: either most people will pronounce it “arses”; or if pronounced “asses” then the r is just dropped/fused, not switched.
Let us raise our glasses to the dear old Queen
Levons notre verre à notre chère vielle monarque
Let us glaze our asses to the quear old dean
Vernissons nos culs pour notre pédale de doyen