I love my pet wussy

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Full suggestion:

I love my pet wussy. RT if you read that wrong.

Sorry but this one does not quite qualify, as this is simply a spoonerism with a made-up pet name.
It would work if this was an existing, famous or ordinarily or frequently used, pet name; or if it was topical (such a pet is in the news or something that brings it to the collective consciousnesses.

Bagots cannot fend for themselves without Bilbo

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Bagots cannot fend for themselves without Bilbo.
> Faggots cannot bend for themselves without dildo.

Sorry but this one fails on all accounts, and if it is salvaged it will probably no longer relate to Lords of the Rings, which is a pity as it was such a congruent attempt!

First, Bilbo’s family name in English is Baggins.

Second, “Bilbo” to “dildo” is just unvoicing the “b”.

Suggestion to salvage it: work around a double-contrepeterie involving Bags > Fags and Fend > Bend, maybe something about fashion?

Pray! Be good.

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Sorry but this one does not qualify, as the pronunciation of “good” and “prude” are not the same. Close, but different.

gʊd.
prud!

Can anyone salvage this one?


Pray! Be good. Prie! Soit bon.


Gay, be prude! Pédé, sois prude!

McCain aims at the south with all his might

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McCain aims at the south with all his might.

It has all the ingredient for a good contrepet, but the result “all his sight” does not work as a meaningful sentence.

And the “sight” has no impact: it is not rude or politically meaningful. (Think about updating it for the next presidential race to Romney)

Again it may work as a spoonerism but not as a contrepeterie.

Do you spank the wool, or wank the spool?

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Do you spank the wool, or wank the spool?

Another case of a spoonerism that does not qualify as a contrepèterie.

First of all, the pronunciation does not quite work:
spæŋk > wɑŋk (this one could be overcome by regional pronunciations)
wʊl > spul

Second, none of the phrases stand on their own as being either innocent, or funny once converted.

Third, it is wasting 2 phrases for the sake of saying “wank”.

Lastly, it just does not make sense: what can “wank the spool” possibly mean? If anything “spanking the wool” could be seen as the naughty part of the sentence.

Let us raise our glasses to the dear old Queen

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From: http://seedsaside.wordpress.com/2007/02/09/contrepeteriespoonerism

It is famous, it is funny, it is a successful spoonerism, but a failed contrepèterie: either most people will pronounce it “arses”; or if pronounced “asses” then the r is just dropped/fused, not switched.


Let us raise our glasses to the dear old Queen Levons notre verre à notre chère vielle monarque

Let us glaze our asses to the quear old dean Vernissons nos culs pour notre pédale de doyen