Don’t blame her financial limp: most parts of Europe are peaced out

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Don’t blame her financial limp: most parts of Europe are peaced out Ignorez qu’elle boite financierement: la plus part de l’Europe est en paix

Don’t blame her financial pimp: most parts of Europe are leased out Ne vous plaignez pas de ses maqueraux financiers: la plus part de l’Europe est à louer/tout chez Europe est à louer

Her peeps are inviting you to play, with her, hookie

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Her peeps are inviting you to play, with her, hookie Ses gens vous invitent à faire, avec elle, l’école buisonnière

Her peeps are inviting you to play with her pookie Ses hanches sont une invitation a jouer avec sa foune

The smell of the sea made them pick; but now, their nips expose they’re snobs

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The smell of the sea made them pick; but now, their nips expose they’re snobs L’air iodé les a attire, mais leur attirail révèle leur snobisme


The smell of the pee made them sick; but now, their snips expose their knobs L’odeur de pisse les rendaient maladent, mais depuis leur circoncision ils ont le gland exposé

Bagots cannot fend for themselves without Bilbo

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Bagots cannot fend for themselves without Bilbo.
> Faggots cannot bend for themselves without dildo.

Sorry but this one fails on all accounts, and if it is salvaged it will probably no longer relate to Lords of the Rings, which is a pity as it was such a congruent attempt!

First, Bilbo’s family name in English is Baggins.

Second, “Bilbo” to “dildo” is just unvoicing the “b”.

Suggestion to salvage it: work around a double-contrepeterie involving Bags > Fags and Fend > Bend, maybe something about fashion?

Pray! Be good.

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Sorry but this one does not qualify, as the pronunciation of “good” and “prude” are not the same. Close, but different.

gʊd.
prud!

Can anyone salvage this one?


Pray! Be good. Prie! Soit bon.


Gay, be prude! Pédé, sois prude!

McCain aims at the south with all his might

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McCain aims at the south with all his might.

It has all the ingredient for a good contrepet, but the result “all his sight” does not work as a meaningful sentence.

And the “sight” has no impact: it is not rude or politically meaningful. (Think about updating it for the next presidential race to Romney)

Again it may work as a spoonerism but not as a contrepeterie.

Do you spank the wool, or wank the spool?

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Do you spank the wool, or wank the spool?

Another case of a spoonerism that does not qualify as a contrepèterie.

First of all, the pronunciation does not quite work:
spæŋk > wɑŋk (this one could be overcome by regional pronunciations)
wʊl > spul

Second, none of the phrases stand on their own as being either innocent, or funny once converted.

Third, it is wasting 2 phrases for the sake of saying “wank”.

Lastly, it just does not make sense: what can “wank the spool” possibly mean? If anything “spanking the wool” could be seen as the naughty part of the sentence.

Let us raise our glasses to the dear old Queen

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From: http://seedsaside.wordpress.com/2007/02/09/contrepeteriespoonerism

It is famous, it is funny, it is a successful spoonerism, but a failed contrepèterie: either most people will pronounce it “arses”; or if pronounced “asses” then the r is just dropped/fused, not switched.


Let us raise our glasses to the dear old Queen Levons notre verre à notre chère vielle monarque

Let us glaze our asses to the quear old dean Vernissons nos culs pour notre pédale de doyen

 

Cunning stunts

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From: http://seedsaside.wordpress.com/2007/02/09/contrepeteriespoonerism


Cunning stunts
Malignes cascades

Stunning cunts
Superbes connes

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